For two years I've been working day and night on my book series, Blood Bound. For the past few months, I've lived and breathed along side my characters, Kira and Octavion. I've eaten with them, fought their battles with them, felt their pain and watched them fall in love. Now, after getting a little nibble of what the publishing world is all about, only to see it drift away, I find myself frantically grasping at everything I can to keep ahold. Fighting for that dream. Kicking and screaming my way upstream in a frail attempt to get all that I've lost back. Don't get me wrong, I'm not bitter. I'm not telling you this to gain sympathy or support, I'm merely saying I've done all I know--all I can--and gotten no results. I'll keep submitting to agents in hopes that one of them will share in my vision and accept my book AND accept me.
But in the meantime . . . I'm starting over.
I've found that my reason to write has changed over the past few months. In the beginning, it was my passion. I wrote to satisfy the need, to fulfill my dreams. I wrote because it was who I was--what I was. Somewhere along the line it became about something else. Whether it was just being published (which we all want) or the money or simply for the validation, I don't know. But it changed for me. I don't like where I am right now--who I am. I'm writing to sell, to impress, to prove to others that I'm not a failure, that I wasn't cast out because I was a bad person or because my book wasn't marketable. This person I've become is NOT me.
A week or so ago, I had a dream. It was so vivid and clear that I jotted it down. Over the days that followed, my muse grabbed hold of it and now it is the beginnings of a book--a series of books actually. So as I sit down to begin this new project, I find myself thinking about Kira and Octavion. Deep down, I know they're okay, sitting on a rock somewhere chatting about whatever, just waiting until I come back and write the next scene. But somehow I feel like I've abandoned them. They've become a part of me--become my friends. Am I cheating on them? And what about my new characters. I'm sure I'll make friends with Tara and Quinton. Their story deserves to be told just as Kira and Octavion's story did, and still does.
So I'm curious. How do you move on? How do you work on a project for weeks or months and then leave it behind to create something new and wonderful? Do you miss your characters, or is leaving them behind easy for you?
If you want to meet Octavion and Kira, go HERE.
And to meet Tara and Quinton, go HERE.