Before I was married, my best friend and I took guitar lessons and after we got to be pretty good we started singing at weddings and small church settings. She was a wonderful singer, always took the lead. I sang the harmony. The quiet voice in the background. At first it was hard and took a lot of practice, but after a while I received many compliments and the two of us performed a couple times a month. I loved music, even wrote several songs.
Then I started dating. One weekend my boyfriend and I drove to my sister's house to help them move. That evening I got out my guitar like I always did and sang a few tunes for my niece and nephews. They loved music as much as I did. One of the songs was by an artist named Sylvia--"Snap Shot." When I finished, the kids clapped, but was a little confused when I heard my boyfriend laughing. He blurted, "You sure don't sound like Sylvia."
I was crushed.
That was the first time he'd ever heard me sing and I don't think he meant to hurt me. Since then he's apologized a million times, but I remember the way it felt and I can't seem to get past it.
As you may have guessed, I married that man, but please don't think badly of him. He's a wonderful husband and father and has never said anything else to bring me down or make me feel less than wonderful in his eyes. But his words still sting whenever I think about singing in public. We've been married for over 27 years and I've never played my guitar in front of him and never sang around the house when he's home. Not even a hum. In fact, I sold that guitar a few months ago. Sadness.
But if I say yes . . .
It will mean
stepping outside my comfort zone. It will mean believing in myself. Surely I'll break out in hives before I even take the stand.
But it will also bring me great joy and be so worth it when I do this one thing for ME and love myself for being brave!!!
*Who's holding you back and why are you letting them?