Oct 22, 2012

Dear Me . . . You're Beautiful Just the Way You Are

The past couple of days I've seen a photo of a twenty something girl on Facebook wearing nothing but a pair of black panties and matching bra. She's not exposing anymore than a bathing suite would show and she's not posing in a seductive manner. Nope. She's got her arms out to her sides as if to say, "Here I am in all my glory and I'm not ashamed one bit."

Whoa! She's brave!

That was my first thought.

Then I started reading some of the comments. THOUSANDS of comments and over 100,000 likes. While the majority of them are supportive and "You go girl" encouraging words, there are a few that are mean and extremely negative.

And I bet every one of them were bullies in school. Jerks!

I wanted to show you the girl's post, but after 15 minutes of scrolling down through the Facebook statuses, I finally gave up. Instead, here's a model from a Dove commercial that looks almost identical. (Except the obvious white undies)

Isn't she beautiful?

It made me think of my own self image and the years of rude comments, not only from strangers, but from family members who should have loved me as I was. After hearing the negativity over and over you begin to believe it. Begin to think badly of yourself and at some point I began repeating those words to myself every time I looked in the mirror or couldn't get my jeans zipped up.

Over the years things haven't changed much. I look in the mirror now and cringe. I don't love my body or what I've allowed myself to do with it. I'm much larger than this gorgeous young woman and haven't cared much about being healthy.

I need to change that. Both the healthy part and the self image part. While I know being healthy is important, there's nothing wrong with me loving my body the way it is. Just because I have more curves than the average woman, doesn't mean I can't embrace them, right?


What do you think?  Do you embrace your body regardless of it's imperfections?


Here's a video from DOVE I'd like to share with you.


  1. It's a hard thing to do. And even though the media images aren't real or don't tell us the truth, I'm not sure how to convince a daughter of that. So sad.

    Fortunately, the older I get the more I've learned the value of looking outward towards serving others and to quit worrying about myself so much.

    1. I don't have a daughter, so can't imagine what that must be like, but I do know what I've been through and the difference it would have made in my life if I'd had a loving and supporting mother where my weight was concerned. You're a great mom, Valerie. She'll be just fine.

  2. Yes! Mainstream society has so much emphasis on skinny or even just thin being attractive. Further, if you are thin you are deserving or more worthy. This is so untrue and unhealthy! Self-worth is enmeshed with self-esteem. If a person’s core self-worth is intact and based on values separate from externals, then when there is a fluctuation in externals, such as a weight, beauty, social status, economic status, athletic ability, job, etc. a person’s self-worth will remain constant. However, if your self-worth is based on those externals, or talents, then when there is a fluctuation in these externals, a person’s self-worth will increase and decrease with it. Think of it this way, if self-worth were based on external things or accomplishment (or power, beauty, wealthy, etc.) someone like Hitler or Mussolini would more worth than Mother Teresa.

    Spring L.

  3. I was very blessed to grow up on a family that told me often that I was beautiful. Especially my Dad! He also taught me, by telling and example, that I didn't have to put up with anyone crap. That's a very empowering lesson. Put the two together, and our girls will be unstoppable!

    Can you imagine the power that we would give our girls if Brad Pitt did an ad like his latest Chanel ad (which is stupid, by the way) telling our girls they are beautiful just the way they are and they don't have to put up with crap out of anybody? Holy cow!

  4. Chris,
    Thank you so much for sharing that post! Just like we were talking about last weekend, I've struggled with the same thoughts my whole life. For the past two years I've done very little to physically improve myself but I've been concentrating all my heart and soul on learning how to love myself. It's been a long road and I still have a way to go but I'm feeling more ready than ever before in my life to conquer my weight/food/sedentary issues and treat myself like I really deserve. I had to learn that I DID deserve something wonderful first.

    I'm also learning that I need to be proud of my little steps. Each tiny, baby step (Giving up soda or drinking more water or eating more vegetables) brings me closer. So many times I would think that I had to do it all the way or not at all. Well, you can guess what I chose and that led me in the opposite direction.

    Anyway, you are awesome and I'm so glad that I'm getting to know you better. Hugs!!

  5. Wow, that video is powerful. And kinda depressing. What IS the media doing to us? No wonder there are so many of us with screwed up stinking thinking.

    I saw that girl you mentioned (because you showed her to me) and she IS beautiful. Her courage makes me want to be brave, too.