Sep 30, 2010

Be Careful Not To Give DOTS

Several years ago I read a book called, You Are Special, by Max Lucado. It was about little wooden people called Wimmicks who judged each other by giving stickers. They'd give gold stars if they liked something about you or gray dots if they didn't. The moral of the story was not to let the stickers stick, to believe you are special and not listen to what others think of you. To believe in yourself. To see yourself as your creator sees you.

For some reason, that story has been in my head a lot lately and I think it has to do with some comments that have been made in critiques a few of my writing buddies have received.  While being honest and giving constructive suggestions about someone's writing is important so they can learn and grow, it doesn't mean we should "give gray dots" in the process. We need to be positive and find the good in the story and the writing, and then carefully point out where they may make changes to improve it.  We also need to take into consideration where this person is in their journey as a writer. If they are just starting out, a harsh suggestion could crush their confidence and give them little hope of continuing with their dream.

I think some of us forget what it's like to be just starting out--craving the approval and praise of our peers. Where a seasoned writer with years of critiques under her belt can take a harsh comment and either dismiss it or turn it into something she can use, a novice sees it as a sign of failure. So, next time you feel the need to get out the red pen and shred someone's work, remember what it was like to be in their shoes. Put away your box of dots.

For those of you who haven't read You Are Special, I found it on YouTube. It's kinda long, but well worth the listen.

15 comments:

  1. Thanks. It IS fear of the harsh critique that keeps me out of the popular writer's circles. I have been struggling with this since April. It has been THE stumbling block to putting my first manuscript on "paper" because I know I'll need a wider audience of reviewers.

    Your definition of the young writer helps me feel a little more normal - and not such a big coward.

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  2. yup. i agree with sharon. fear of dots keeps me out of a lot of things cuz they tend to latch on and start sucking my blood. lol VAMPIRE DOTS

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  3. AMEN! When you're a novice writer, sharing your work is hard enough without receiving harsh critique. Honesty is important, but there's a kind, helpful way to address issues rather than blasting someone's self-esteem!

    The people who like to be hurtful really must have inflated egos.

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  4. this is really good advice. i try really hard to give positive comments in my crit - because everyone learns best with constructive criticism. but i'm not perfect either, and sometimes i forget to put in those stars. thanks for reminding me.

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  5. I agree, your critique should never make someone want to quit.

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  6. I love this book! And you're right-- constructive criticism should NEVER tear down an author or their story.

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  7. When I was getting my master's degree, one of my professors shared the idea of "sandwich criticism". You begin by talking about the things the person did well. Then you discuss the areas for improvement. Finally, you end by talking about more of what the person did well. That way, the critique begins and ends on a positive note.

    Personally, I think that's a fantastic way to give feedback. What do you think?

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  8. Great post! I've just recently started in a critique group, and they have all been so helpful. Always constructive, and just plain nice. :)

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  9. Loved your post, Christine. I loved what James wrote too, and I will remember that as a blue print for the future.
    I think too often we are told to be "thick skinned" in this business, and if you can't take the heat get out. Very rarely do you hear how to give kind, constructive criticism and to remember who you're critiquing and their needs. I know I've seen the wisdom in positive criticism because what goes around definitely comes around, and I learn so much myself when I have open communication with someone rather than labeling them as a poor writer or blowing them off.

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  10. I read that book earlier this week to my kids. I love Max's books. So well written and thought out. I agree with you. We must always bear in mind the place in journey every writer is, especially when we are rendering our critiques for them.

    Thanks for reminding me!
    *hugs*

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  11. PS--in response to James, yes, I believe that's how it should be done. That's how I've been taught and how I do it! Great idea, James!!! :D

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  12. I love Max's books. This was a great post. Our critiques of others should always be constructive and not tear them down. Writing is hard enough!

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  13. Thanks to everyone for your wonderful comments. Especially James, for your ideas on giving positive feedback. I love the sandwich idea.

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