So, what's on my mind today? Well, to be honest, I'm frustrated. This summer is the first time my son--a 16 year old boy with Autism and severe behaviors--has not had therapy or some sort of SOMETHING to keep him busy. My thought was to let us all breathe for the summer and not have to deal with therapists or agencies or time tables or getting up early or making several trips into town every day. But now I'm not so sure that was a wise decision.
Just so you know, I'm no novice when it comes to children with disabilities. Both my boys have needed a LOT of one-on-one attention throughout their lives and I have stepped up to the plate and done it all. I've read every book I could get my hands on, done research online and worked alongside them in the school and at the agency where they received therapy--all so I could learn what I could. I was President of a support group for parents of children with disabilities and served on the board of directors for IPUL, a state and federally funded advocacy group for the disabled. I've helped other parents learn how to be advocates for their children in the schools and the community and seen a lot of progress in our local schools because of the work done by groups I belonged to. All this without hesitation or backing down.
But, even with all this education and experience under my belt, I'm being defeated by my son. *sigh*
(Yep, this is my kid . . . and this is the look I get even when I just want to take his picture. Oh, see the sleeve of his shirt. He shreds them. We go through 2-3 shirts a WEEK.) I know part of it is his age. He is a typical teenager with a sassy mouth, attitude and hormones. I've tried everything I know to help guide him and teach him and nothing is working anymore. I've even gutted his room so all he has is his bed and taken everything away from him, including privileges like watching TV and he still won't behave. AND he's as tall as I am am VERY strong. I'm at my wits end, especially now that he's started in on the "I'm running away" kick and spouts off with phrases like, "I hate you," & "I hope you die." It breaks my heart, ya know.
So, I sit at my computer writing this while being interrupted several times with his pleading. He wants a piece of pie. If I say no, we will have a major melt down and the rest of the day will be ruined. If I say yes, he will want two or three pieces and go on a tangent about wanting more and more and more. There's never enough. Did I mention he is also OCD? Gee, which tantrum do I feel like dealing with today?
I need a vacation.
And writing? PPPFFFFT!! What's that? I haven't written for WEEKS!!