Nov 29, 2010
Second, I have a friend who I've known since we were in grade school. We used to be inseparable, did everything together. Played guitar, sang at weddings, went horse back riding, were each others maid of honor when we got married. Nothing could come between us. Or at least I thought.
Recently, she's made drastic changes to her lifestyle, one of which was to disown her 4 oldest children (she has 9). The oldest called me a few months back and told me what had happened and asked my advice so I gave it to her. I told her to give her mom time and to just love her. Since that time, the daughter and I have corresponded several times with similar topics of conversation, the last of which was to inform me that her mother had stopped going to church and was cutting all ties from family and friends. I wasn't surprised to get a letter this past Friday from my friend telling me she no longer wanted anything to do with me because I'd spoke to one of her children.
Although my heart is sad, there is little I can do. I wrote her back and told her I loved her and that I would always be here for her, but I know it will fall on deaf ears.
This all makes me think about how precious our relationships with friends can be, or SHOULD be. While I have dozens of writing buddies I consider close friends--all of which live at least 3 hours away--I only have a couple women near where I live that I have a relationship with. Even then, I only have contact with them sporadically, most of the time only a brief wave as we pass each other on the road. I need to fix this. I know there are several neighbors and women at church that I would love being friends with, but I'm too lazy to invest the time and energy to nourish those friendships. How sad is that?
So, even though it's not the New Year and I seldom make resolutions anyway, I'm going to make it my goal for next year to find some friends. I'm also going to be a better friend to the ones I already have, whether they live far away or just around the corner. I think we all need someone we can count on being there for us and it enriches our lives to be there for others.
What do you do to nourish old friendships and how do you make new friends?