1979 - 2010
Last Thursday, at the young age of 31, Shandra died of a brain aneurysm. She was my sister-in-law and my friend.
After years of an abusive marriage and a life of bad choices, Shandra finally found a man who loved her like she deserved. They'd been engaged for only a few weeks when she died. It's so sad that she finally found happiness and now isn't here to enjoy it.
When I began writing The Crystor, she begged to be the bad guy in the book so I wrote her in. The character's name is Shandira, so close to her name, that now I wonder if I shouldn't change it. But then, she loved the idea of being the antagonist and would probably kick my butt if I messed with it. She told me once to make her be really bad, so I did, not at all like her real personality.
On her last visit, she asked me to email it to her, but I put her off and said I needed to make a few more revisions first. She was disappointed, but understood. I wish I would have sent it. I'll always be sorry that she never got to read it. Maybe her spirit can read it over someone's shoulder after it's published, eh?Anyway, I just had to share my friend with some of you and let you know what a wonderful person she was. I will miss her.
So young. That breaks my heart, Christine. I'm so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing a piece of her with us.
ReplyDeleteMay I make a suggestion? I lost my mother when she was only 29. I did not know her very well. It would be a great service to Shandra's kids if you would write about her--share experiences, tell them about her personality, what she liked and didn't like, why she was such a good friend to you--anything really. It would be a gift to her kids that they would cherish forever. You have such a gift for writing, you oculd make her come alive on those pages and give her kids a glimpse of the person you knew. I wish someone had done that for me so I could know my mother better. Just an idea.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. My mother had the same thing happen and by some complete miracle, she survived. But it makes me wonder if I will have the same ailment, and honestly, makes me appreciate every day and all the loved ones in my life.
ReplyDeleteYou are a better person just for having known her.
Hugs,
Lydia
I'm so sorry for your (and her kids) loss.
ReplyDeleteGreat idea, Rebecca!
I'm sorry for your loss. Losing a family member and friend is one of the toughest things in life. Thoughts and prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteoh how very sad! this makes me bawl!
ReplyDeleteI was 7 when my dad died. My parents had already divorced, and my mom never talked about him. The few things she mentioned were always edged with negativity. When I got old enough to ask ppl who knew him, I didn't know what questions to ask. I have a few fun stories about him as a young man, but I still feel I hardly know him. Chris, it would be wonderful for those kids if you were to write about her so they would know her.
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. And yes, I know I need to write about her. It's just so hard to think about right now, but I will do it . . . for her and the kids.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing this. I'm sorry for your loss and you have my best wishes at heart for everyone she left behind. Bringing her into your story is a great honor.
ReplyDeleteThat is so sad. I am so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing her story with us.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about this, Christine. I'll be praying for those sweet little kids. It sounds like she was a beautiful person.
My heart just aches with yours, Christine. What a hard thing to happen for all you who love her.
ReplyDeleteThis is a good reminder for me to be the woman I want, and need to be right here and right now. HUGS
It sounds like she had a very good friend in you. I love the idea of you writing about her for her kids. They would treasure that forever. My prayers are with you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear that. It's hard to lose such a wonderful person and close friend. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteSo, so sorry Chris. I know what it's like to lose someone so young in such an unexpected way. You go along, thinking you're fine, and then out of the blue a wave of emotion swamps you and you're crying in the middle of the gym. Or the line in the grocery store. But believe me, it gets easier.
ReplyDeleteSending love and hugs your way.
My heart is with you and your family. I'm so sorry you lost a sister and friend. She would be proud of your villain.
ReplyDeleteChristine, I am sure you'll be able to share your book with her one way or another. What a sad, sudden loss. Encouraging thoughts your way.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your friend. I'll think of you in this tough time.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through "Mormon Mishaps and Mischier" and the first time I visit I find this loving tribute that you've written for your sister-in-law. I'm sorry for your loss. I do hope you will write about her for her kids like others have suggested. I look forward to visiting again.
ReplyDeleteChristine--you are in my thoughts today. It's so hard to lose someone that is so young. She was lucky to have a friend like you.
ReplyDeleteTouching tribute from a good friend.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for your loss. Nothing fills the void a person leaves and it is so hard when it is sudden and so many things are left unsaid. It does sound like she thought a lot of you and supported your writing. You will immortalize her in your story.
ReplyDeleteThinking of you.
How is your brother doing? Please tell him we are all remembering him in our prayers--you too, and the children. xo
ReplyDeleteThanks everyone. The funeral is over and I'm sure things will calm down now. You're all wonderful friends. I and the family are very grateful for all your prayers. HUGS
ReplyDeleteWhat a shock! And how very sad. Take care, Christine.
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing her with us, I know she wouldn't want you to change the book, and I am sure she is reading it while you are in the process of editing it, right there over your right shoulder. big HUG!!
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