May 10, 2009

"He Knows Her Name"

After several years of unsuccessful fertility treatments and tests, my husband and I decided to adopt. We went through piles of paperwork, fingerprinting, interviews, home visits and background checks before finally being approved. Our social worker through LDS Social Services told us the average wait was 1 1/2 years, two at the most. While we waited we spent the time painting the nursery, gathering needed items like a crib, bassinet, car seat, and going through the usual lists of appropriate names. When two years came and went and we still hadn't received a baby, we tried to remain positive.

By the third year I was depressed and questioning the love my Father in Heaven had for me. Ever since I could remember I wanted to be a mom, but maybe the Lord had different plans for me. Would I spend the rest of my life never knowing the joy of holding a child in my arms and hearing that sweet voice say "Mommy?" Had I done something to deserve this punishment?

By the fourth year, we'd given up all hope. Our social worker was sympathetic, but had no answers.

On a normal Monday afternoon in February, while I was picking up a few needed items at the grocery store, my husband got the call. The social worker said there was a little boy due to be born on Wednesday (they were inducing her labor) and they had a good feeling about it. He encouraged us to pray, which we did.

Wednesday came, but they'd postponed the birth til Thursday.

Thursday came, no news.

Friday we called, only to find out the birth mother had changed her mind and was going to keep her son.

Our hearts were crushed. For the next 11 days, we received mixed reports from both our social worker and hers. One day, she was leaning toward giving him up and the next she wanted to keep him. On the 12th day, the phone rang and the voice on the other end said, "Come get your son."

That was 15 years ago and not a single Mother's Day has gone by that I haven't thought about that confused 17 year old girl who made the ultimate sacrifice to give her child a better life. Our adoption was close, so I may never know her name, but the Lord does. He knows her heart. He knows her love for the little boy she let me raise as my own. I long for the day when we can meet in heaven and rejoice in the young man he has become. I pray she is still okay with her decision and finds comfort in knowing he is being raised by a mother and father who love him very much.

While contemplating the writing of this post I found this video. With each word, I thought of that 17 year old girl, saying goodbye to her little baby, praying he would be happy and cling to the Lord until she could see him again. The courage it took her to let go of something so precious breaks my heart. She is indeed a special mother, both in my eyes and in the eyes of the Lord. I pray that she has finally found happiness in her life and has many children who bring her as much joy as Joshua brings me.

May the angels praise her name.

Please enjoy this video, then go to the top left corner of this blog and click on the other writer's who have accepted this challenge and visit their blogs. Thanks for your support and love.

Happy Mother's Day.


  1. Awesome post! What faith you and your husband must have had. I'm so glad you finally got your son, and I was touched by your feelings towards his birth mother. Adoption can be such an amazing blessing.

  2. I loved your post. I have always been an advocate for adoption, believing it was the best for all three parties, i.e. the unwed mother, the childless couple, and the baby. Your story just affirmed my position once more.

    I just wish more pregnant young girls would give serious consideration to the option of adoption. I know they think they are doing the "responsible" thing by taking care of the child they brought into the world. But if they took a deeper look they would see that the truely resposnible, unselfish thing to do would be to give that child a home with two parents who are ready and able to take care of it. Enough of my soapbox, like I said, I loved your post. Thanks.

  3. sweet video -- thanks for posting.

  4. Thanks for sharing your experience, it was beautiful. I can tell you're a wonderful mother, hope you day was special!